Parenting is a wonderful experience, but it comes with its
share of challenges. Nonetheless, mothers sacrifice a lot to ensure the
wellbeing of their children, which is a good thing. However, it is possible to
lose yourself into parenting that you forego your needs and your child becomes
the priority at all times.
It is natural how mothers care about their kids. Parenting
can be challenging especially when money is tight. You have many things to
purchase and yet the resources are limited. Your kid might be outgrowing
clothes very fast, so you have to keep buying new ones.
You go shopping for clothes and the first stall you are
attracted to is for kid’s clothes and shoes and not mum clothes.
If you live a plot, you have probably seen mothers under
pressure competing with each other to dress their children. A hawker walks in,
you see a few people purchasing items and you feel the urge to pick some for
your little ones.
Some mums buy their children things on credit, which is okay
as long as one has a plan on how to pay up. I one heard a mother searching for
her son’s toy saying hata sijamaliza
kulipia (I am yet to finish paying for the item).
Unless you find balance and only purchase what you need, you
might be overwhelmed with caring for your child that it becomes stressful.
Below are a few pointers on how to deal with losing yourself into parenting.
a) Literally pause, stop what you are doing, and breathe
Stop pushing yourself too hard to buy everything for your
children. Just because you see someone buying a child something, does not mean
you should also do so for your kids. You are already a good mum loving,
clothing, and caring for them. There is no need to have debts all over the
place and keep hiding from the people you owe.
b) Only buy what is necessary
Purchase enough clothes and toys and do not overdo it. Spare
some money and buy yourself something nice. It does not have to be a major
item. It could be something as simple as a scarf, sandals, or a chocolate bar.
You deserve some self-care. After all, you have done a great job raising your
child. The notion of your kids looking stunning while you barely have
presentable clothes is not fair on you.
c) Do not bow to pressure from neighbor mums
Women know how to entice each other into buying things. Before
you fall into the trap, stop and think about whether you have the money to pay
for what you want to buy. Live within your means and save some money to buy
your kids clothes and toys when the time is right. No one has the right to
pressure you into buying anything. You should not make purchases on credit when
you cannot afford it.
Being a mum is an exciting journey, but it can be challenging
as well. Instead of pressuring yourself to buy your children everything, think
about the harm you will be causing on yourself. The stress will weigh you down
most of the time. Buy what you can afford, avoid debts, and life will be more
manageable.
